Posted by: Michelle | November 16, 2008

up too late, with a mask on

I can’t listen to this snoring any more, it is making me homicidal.

How strange that I have moved into a house filled to the brim with spiders, when I have been so terrified of them. I am learning to get over it. There was one already building a compact little nest in the crumpled paper surrounding some DVDs, I casually let it out onto the propane tank outside and continued unpacking. I suppose if it had been on my hand I would have become unhinged.

Everything has been bats lately, a disturbing story from a friend, and Zella’s new webkin. I remember when I was small my dad shot a bat while demonstrating a gun in the yard. What a terrible noise as it fell. Now he is so pissed off at life (all of a sudden?) he can barely speak to me. I have heard from him, briefly, once this week and he was combative and pretty much crazy. I can’t deal with him when he is like this, full of weird notions and ready to argue. Bah. I was wrong about so many things, maybe moving closer to my dad was one of them.

I want to get happy again, lately it has felt like far more disaster than joy.

We have been living here for about 3 weeks now but we are still in the process of moving. Dragging it out! I never knew a bandaid could be ripped off so slowly. Tomorrow hopefully the rest of my stuff will come out of Watertown (leaving only attic junk and Adam’s mystery collection) and I can continue this glacial progress of unpacking. This endeavor has shown that deep down my children have a capacity to despise me.

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